Here’s a question that occurs to a lot of people. Why is it so difficult for parents to be friends with their teenage kids? Seriously, why? Why is it that when we hit puberty, our friends become way more important that our parents? We don’t talk to our parents anymore. We don’t think they get us. We don’t think they’re cool. So here’s my opinion on this.
The thing about being a teenager is that we want to be treated like adults, but we’re still treated like kids. And yes, we’re moody and hormonal and stubborn, but even our parents were teenagers once. They’ve been through it too. That’s got to count for something. Except it doesn’t seem to help them when it comes to connecting with us.
One reason why is because they’re from a different time. When they were young, they didn’t have so many distractions as they so often remind you. They didn’t have gadgets and video games and bla bla bla and they went “outside” and played with their friends and bla bla bla and listened to music that wasn’t loud and offensive and bla bla bla. You get where this is going. But here’s the thing. I think that my parents’ generation is annoyingly opposed to change. They refuse to adapt. They think everything in their time was way cooler than things now. I’m not saying this applies to everyone or that it’s a bad thing really, but see why it’s difficult for them to connect with us? But, hey, it’s not entirely their fault though. We’re not ready to try and listen to the sort of music they like or try to do things the way they used to. We’re not trying at all. But come on! They’re the ones who want to be involved in our lives. We’re not asking for it.
Speaking of being involved in our lives, some of them try too hard. They make too big a deal of everything. That makes it difficult for us to want to communicate with them. About anything. They interfere in everything. Particularly things that you’d want to handle yourself. And it’s so not cool when you get your parents involved in something serious at school because then you’re just a snitch.
And that last statement leads me to peer pressure. I wish it didn’t exist, but it does. And peer pressure is what gives you an idea of what’s considered cool and what’s not. Adults seem to forget that peer pressure exists in school. It’s what leads us, sometimes, to think our parents aren’t cool. And it also leads us, in some cases, to do things we probably shouldn’t do. And in cases like that, it’s probably good for parents to get involved, but I think they need to give us a little room to figure things out for ourselves first. We want to be treated like adults, remember? We want to feel like we can take our own decisions and deal with things on our own. And I think we need a little bit of that freedom. To make mistakes and learn from them. But yes, we also need to know our parents are there for us in case we mess up really bad.
My point is, we want our parents to try to understand us and connect with us, but we also need them to give us a little space and a little freedom to feel like independent individuals who can do things on their own. And sometimes, we don’t need them to be our friends. A million times more than that, we need them to be our parents i.e. responsible adults who can reprimand us for doing stupid things because they love us and want us to learn.